Diary entries: 22
[ Title: Fight + Posture
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Mood: Happy?
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Date: Feb. 3, 2024 ]
I didn't expect to make an entry again so quickly. But, my mom just got so mad for no reason. I told her to not overshare and that one of my friends found her scary due to her getting to close to people and such and she started screaming, she got even more mad when i told her that my friend was way better then me so she shouldn't make fun of her. Good job mom at bringing a crying kid to the mall, so smart!! And she lied about the fight to my brother and dad. So stupid. Anyway, my poster is getting worse, my back hurts so badly.
[ Title: School + Games
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Mood: Happy?
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Date: Feb. 2, 2024 ]
Report cards came in. I did better then I thought, but my mom wanted more, whatever. I'm working on a simple visual novel using ren'py, it's just pratice, but I hope it doesn't end up crashing like it usually does. I got it to work well once, but I forgot to backup my save and it deleted lol.
[ Title: ???
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Mood: Neutral
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Date: Jan. 28, 2024 ]
Inactive for now, I'll be more active once feb. break comes. No new life updates really...
[ Title: Skin and Friends
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Mood: Annoyed
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Date: Jan. 22, 2024 ]
My skin on my frostbite was peeling today, my english teacher got mad at me for trying to go home. I got to go home, but I also think that my friends hate me. I think my friends are nice, but my friends kept side eyeing me thinking I didn't see, I think it's because no one ever believes me when i'm hurt. I know I stay home commonly, but I hate how no one treats me seriously or even trys to believe what I say.
[ Title: New Computer
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Mood: Happy
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Date: Jan. 18, 2024 ]
I got a new windows pc. Finally i'm not using chrome, the problem is that I don't know if for sure all my data is synced so I don't want to reset my old laptop because I have EVERYTHING there. I know it probably is all already synced, but I'm just worried. Also I hate how I can't go on my computer in bed because It needs to be on a table unlike my old chrome laptop. But it's fine, I can finally play video games on a computer and the computer is SUPER good for a pc supporting windows 10 (can upgrade) for only 300$, or thats just how I see it. I need to sync my school information too, I wish I didn't, but i can't just not do any online school work.
[ Title: Test Marks
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Mood: ???
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Date: Jan. 17, 2024 ]
I finished my science and math unit tests. FINALLY. I'm super worried, I think I might flunk on them, I PRAY I got over 60% because in math I really need my 72% to go up... And in science I USED to have a good mark and because I got a 41% on a test and couldn't redo it my grade dropped so much ... I don't know what happened this year, I understand my math and science grade I guess. But my English grade is dropping too, how?? I got academic excellence last year for having a 99% and suddenly my grade dropped? My new English teacher sucks completely.
[ Title: School Cancelled
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Mood: Happy, but physically in pain
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Date: Jan. 12, 2024 ]
I got frostbites walking home from school yesterday, so fun ...!! Anyway, my school is private, but the school district itself is public so the government isn't supposed to let them close down, but the tempt. was -40 cel. so they had to close it. Good for me, but these frostbites hurt like hell.
[ Title: School Starts
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Mood: ???
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Date: Jan. 8, 2024 ]
School started again. I forgot how much I disliked going to school ,,,
[ Title: Genshiken Art
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Mood: Annoyed
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Date: Jan. 6, 2024 ]
Why does the art style in Genshiken change every season and OVA? It's so annoying ... Keep one studio or don't change it every time, season 1 had the best art style and im so sad they removed it because I don't like how the characters look without it. The characters hair and apperance in general just looks weird?? Saikis hair went from dyed blonde and medium to orange and short it makes no sense ,,, I think i'm just going to re-read the manga because like? I'm also just confused on why they keep adding unnessary characters and removing the wrong ones, the show is good, but I think it just had so much more potenial.
[ Title: You are not alone
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Mood: Neutral
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Date: Jan. 4, 2024 ]
"You are not alone" I kept remembering how this meant that someone was always watching you because my site was more "off putting" in the past... Now it just means both, you're not alone in a sense of way that you should believe in yourself and in a way that someone is always watching you ,,,
[ Title: Earthquake + Yandere Dev
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Mood: Glad but Sad
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Date: Jan. 2, 2024 ]
A huge Earthquake hit Japan, did anyone else hear about it? Great way to start 2024. On the other hand, YandereDev is back (Him Adressing the Allegations) I'm really glad that maybe Yandere Simulator will finish now that he's back, because the game is good. I will not deny. Even if I did think he was bad, I still like the game and want it too finish, but now sadly I can't watch any funny person play the full game because of what Happened.
[ Title: Genshiken Figures
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Mood: Extremely Confused
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Date: Dec. 31, 2023 ]
It's 4:45pm as I ponder why peoples parents buy them the Kanako bust figure. I have been looking at it for awhile... Chika's figure is cute, but why do Kanakos bounce...? I would assume its for a joke, right, but most people buying it seem so serious, someone please explain this to me... Her and Chika's faces are adorable, so I guess I understand why people put them in their car but like...?
[ Title: Dream
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Mood: Confused + Weired out
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Date: Dec. 30, 2023 ]
Most random dream, it kept flipping between different things: An old website with just text, an art gallery of empty paintings, typing in random forms, the outside of my house, coffee on the floor, lastly a hallway. I have no idea what this means, It probably means nothing, but it was weird.
[ Title: School soon
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Mood: Bored
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Date: Dec. 29, 2023 ]
School is starting on the 8th, normally I don't want to go, but I guess it'll be fine, I say it'll be fine but I know when it gets closer I'll be annoyed. I only like school because my friends. I don't really have much to write because, well, nothing is really happening this break.
[ Title: Christmas
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Mood: Happy
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Date: Dec. 24, 2023 ]
Merry Christmas ( ˙▿˙ ) I didn't even notice it was Christmas eve ,,, I'm not sure what I'll do, but I hope whoever reads this has a great Christmas.
[ Title: Hikikomoris Part 1
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Mood: Confused
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Date: Dec. 17, 2023 ]
I always wonder how hikikomoris live. What is your source of income? You obviously live alone, so your parents don't give you money, nor a roomate. So how? Do you work from home? But what job is it? What job allows you to never leave your house? People say "Government fundings" But how do people get the funding and how can you afford to live with only small amounts of money from the government? I want to be a hikikomori when i am able to move out, but my parents will never fund me if I do not have a job, nor will they let me have a place in their home for free once im over 25, also I don't want to become a complete loser living in a basement, but not working and still living a normal life is such a dream. I don't want to go in Uni. Debt, but I want a stable future, but thats literally not possible if you wanna get a good job.
[ Title: Hikikomoris Part 2
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Mood: Confused
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Date: Dec. 17, 2023 ]
I want a future where I can live just a basic and normal life. But I also want a future where I can live in my house and never go to work, or atleast not have to leave my house when I do work. Like, I have a job I want, but the thing is that it's a job that I can't just lay back for. I've wanted this job since 6th grade, but I think i'm going to change career paths. Hikikomoris I question you guys, but I'll never be rude to you guys because you're living the life while I am not, so I can't say anything.
[ Title: School "popular kids" Part 1
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Mood: Annoyed + Confused
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Date: Dec. 14, 2023 ]
I don't understand the people in my school. This happened and I still don't understand, lets call the girls Susan, Eva, Lilth, and Raziel, and lets call the boys Chase, Jake, Husk, and Dan. The first thing I do not get is their relationships, all the girls hangout but they all shit talk eachother, Raziel tells me about how she hates Lilth and shit talks her to me (I know she shit talks me too) and then my friend told me about how Susan was shit talking Eva and called her terrible names even though Susan and Eva are best friends, they literally got dared to kiss and after they were convinced to do it by the boys they did. So why are you shit talking people you're so close with? Each one of them shit talk eachother, I think maybe Lilth does it the least. But it still doesn't make sense why they hang out after.
[ Title: School "popular kids" Part 2
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Mood: Annoyed + Confused
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Date: Dec. 14, 2023 ]
Then there's the boys, who I really do not get. Let's start with Dan, he likes Lilth and Eva, but his friend Jake obviously likes Lilth, and Lilth clearly likes him back, Lilth got dared to kiss Dans literal shoe (While on and also strip...!!), I don't know how Jake was so chill after that? Then I remembered that to the guys in my class, girls are objects, so it doesn't matter to them. Going back to Raziel, she has a crush on both Chase and Husk, which confuses me. Susan and Chase are basically in a situationship if thats what you'd call them and also Husk liked her in the first year, but then she decided not to want to be with him anymore because he wasn't a peoples person, but then doesn't really like Chase because she's worried he wont be rich in the future like she isn't super rich already? Maybe I'm overthinking but I really don't get them.
[ Title: Eyes
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Mood: Neutral + Curious
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Date: Dec. 11, 2023 ]
I mixed up my last to logs, but moving on. I took a pause to think. Eyes are one of the most intresting parts of the body, I don't care about what parts of the eyes are what. But I like the idea of eyes. The way they look, the way everyones eyes tell a story even if they think they don't. Eyes are the most standing out feature of the face.If you looked into someones eyes I think you would understand what I mean? I wish photos could capture them better. I wish more eye colors were a thing. For example, purple or red eyes. I feel like it would make people more unique.
[ Title: Beep Test
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Mood: Physically Hurt
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Date: Nov. 29, 2023 ]
Beep test. I tripped and crushed my leg, it's a bit bruised, but it'll be fine I think... Staying home tomorrow, I might go shoppping for my friends, but I don't really feel like it.
[ Title: Sickness
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Mood: Confused
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Date: Dec. 6, 2023 ]
I was so sick for the last two days 😭 My friend asked if I got pregant...?? I think she asked because I vomited, I don't think I gained so why...? I think I ate something bad most likely. I was happy to be able to miss school days, but everyone thought I was faking sick..
[ Title: Cruetly
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Mood: Curious
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Date: Nov. 25, 2023 ]
I was reading today, something that stuck out was 'Cruelty isn't a personality trait, its a habit' I've been thinking about quote for a while now. Most people label being cruel as a personality trait for their characters, and sometimes people label it as their own personality trait. Being Cruel isn't something that you're born with, or something thats apart of your personality, it's something that you experience and get used to... I think I worded that right?
[ Title: Snow Piles
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Mood: Annoyed
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Date: Nov. 22, 2023 ]
Trashy day of school today, I got in trouble and had to go outside in the snow with no coat for 20 minutes, it doesn't sound that bad as I type it, but it's terrible if you experince it... I walked home after, I tried to 'nap' but I had a weird dream. I was sitting in a box, the room was dark. Suddenly a bunch of colors were flashing; I woke up quickly after. I don't think I'm going to sleep tonight, maybe at 1-3AM, I don't even want to go back to school lmao ... Good thing is that I had warm food, it was pretty good.
